Meme!

April 22, 2009 at 12:30 am (Random, Skating)
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Did the last person you kissed have tattoos?
no…????

Have you ever been in a perfect relationship?
oh you know, me and flutter the butterfly have a pretty awesome relationship considering we spend a significant portion of our time together ;) with a human, nah

How did you get your last bruise?
probably skating, haha

What was the last movie that you watched?
umm…Miss B. wouldn’t take me to see Atonement in Anne’s room >:( so I’m not sure. we watch a lot of grey’s anatomy around here though

Have you ever liked someone older than you?
of course…

Do you like Red Bull?
I’ve heard it tastes disgusting

Ever broken a bone?
yeah, i broke my arm when I landed a jump weird once. I couldn’t skate for awhile, which basically sucked.

Last time you had pizza?
not sure…I eat it in the cafeteria a lot though

How many days until your next birthday?
awhile

What are your initials?
CNF: Congenital Nephrosis Finnish, Cold Nuclear Fusion, Child Neurology Foundation, Cytoxic Necrotizing Factor, and yes I just googled that

Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
it has a little wave to it

Are you currently sad about anything?
not sad. i’m a little worried about spending the summer at owt though. and stressing about the olympics

Do you put your subject before you type the bulletin or after?
depends

Are you tired?
yeah but i still have to write a paper proposal

Where were you yesterday at noon?
lunch

Would you hug the last person you hugged again?
yeah probably, haha

Are you allergic to anything?
seasonal

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
depends, I like milk in general

What was the last thing you ordered at McDonalds?
um… chicken nuggets!

Do you have a trampoline at your house?
no but i have a pond!!

Have you ever taken medications that were prescribed to someone else?
no i have my own medications thank you very much ;)

Do you find the opposite sex confusing?
eh sometimes

Do you have a best friend?
yeah, i have a best friend back home.

Is there anyone you want to come see you?
tabitha…or i want to go back to maine!!!!!!!!!

When was the last time you flew in a plane?
Christmas break

What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
um place in nationals next year!!!!!!!

Been to Mexico?
no

When is the last time you had a massage?
not sure

What was the last TV show you watched?
hahaha grey’s anatomy

What are your plans for the weekend?
SKATING

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
sleeping!!!

When’s the last time you laughed REALLY hard?
pandora dance party w/ sam

Ever go camping?
YES!!!!!!!

What did your last text say?
something from tabitha, not really sure

Where is your mom right now?
home?

What is one thing you have learned about life recently?
people are weird

Do you own an iPod?
yes

Do any of your friends have children?
coach oh???

How did you get one of your scars?
ummmm skating

What is your mom’s name?
Rachel

Are you ticklish?
no

Do you have any piercings?
no

Have you ever changed clothes while driving
uh, no…

Have you ever cleaned up someone else’s vomit?
yuck…no

What is your favorite color to wear?
red or orange, and black.

What is the longest plane ride you have ever been on?
south korea for grand prix ♥

What is the longest road trip you have ever taken?
lots…idk

What are you craving right now?
chicken nuggets, thanks survey

What were you doing last night at midnight?
going to sleep

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One day, we’ll turn on the TV and we won’t see nothing about war.

January 24, 2009 at 3:32 pm (Friends, My Lovely Life)
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How lucky we are.

You know, there are five gazillion things going on in the world than whatever you were complaining about right now. So just stop.

I know awhile ago I was talking about how I’m not really sure if I believe in God. Well that hasn’t really changed, but I want it to. Hope, Harper and Sam all have really strong faiths, even though they believe in different things. I don’t know what I believe. But I was listening to them last night – not really doing anything, just listening (Miss B. was watching Grey’s like obsessively… so if she was doing nothing, we felt justified). And one of them was complaining about something and Sam said, “Well, I’m going to pull a Mrs. M. here, but you just need to shut up and offer that up to God. There’s noting you can do about it.” Wow. Imagine letting it just disappear and leaving it up to someone else. Sounds good, right? (Mrs. M. is one of Miss B.’s friends, by the way.)

So then I thought that I would really want to be able to do that. I’m technically Catholic, but I don’t really practice or anything. I have a lot of questions and doubts. I get really pissed off at my life a LOT. But what Samantha said made me think – maybe I brood too much.

Then I heard this song by Meiko – I’ve heard it before, but I really listened this time… and I kind-of got from it not that she totally hates where she is in life at that time, but more that she has hope it will get better, and that hope makes her feel like her life will be ok. My life is OK, compared to a few years ago. According to that song, I’m kind-of at the point where I can say how lucky I am. I mean, I could go to the Olympics. That’s pretty amazing considering the rest of my life.

So I think maybe I like my life. Or I will soon. I feel now that that acceptance needs to come with me thinking more about my religion. But it is really nice. And when that morning comes, I’ll make coffee and you’ll read the paper. We’ll talk about our plans and I’ll keep saying how lucky we are.

In honor of Miss B. I posted the Cleveland performance… haha.

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And the winner is…

December 16, 2008 at 2:08 pm (Skating)
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I’m yet again layovering (yeah, that’s now a word) but now I am a day behind. It was totally December 16 yesterday, but whatever. At least the clocks aren’t striking thirteen, you know. Then we’d have a problem! So I know you all (and who really reads this anyway? I hope my old friends, and the new ones that I am meeting in only TEN DAYS) are waiting to find out how I did at lovely Grand Prix. Lovely, to be exact. I got fourth. And yeah, yeah I know I didn’t place. However, I’m happy with it. I made a resolve the other day to stop worrying about not being good enough and stop holding myself back. I didn’t. I was up against the other top five skaters… in the world. I beat two. I feel pretty proud of myself. I also know what the competition is now for Worlds, and I feel like I’m ready to take it on. Yeayah, first Grand Prix! Olympics to go! J

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Baby’s getting next to nowhere with her back against the wall

December 11, 2008 at 7:46 pm (Skating)
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I feel like I’ve been keeping myself back. I keep talking about how I’m not sure how great I am, and that I don’t know whether I can make it to the Olympics after taking off about half a year of skating. And yes, it’s natural to doubt yourself, but I also think I’ve been believing it. It’s so easy to think, oh, no this success isn’t real. I’m not worth that much. And once you start thinking that, you start believing it. And I feel like coming up to Grand Prix, I’ve been pretty down about skating. I haven’t thought I’d get this far and that doubt has stayed with me, even though I beat out every other female figure skater in the United States. I still doubt. And I know I’m limiting myself. I’m not trying harder routines and I’m sticking with the normal. I’m not feeling totally confident before routines because I know I haven’t challenged myself and so truly I am not doing my best.
That’s gonna change. Fo’ sho’.

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I will live my life as a lobsterman’s wife on an island in the blue bay

November 4, 2008 at 4:53 pm (My Lovely Life, Skating)
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I’ve obviously forgotten to update… and no lost Ethernet cord stories to excuse that.  I’ve just been really busy.  But before we get to that complaining, I have a little bragging right.

That’s right, 99% chance I’m going to Grand Prix.  I won Skate America!  Coach OH! just kept saying “I knew you could do it!  You knew you could do it!”  Mom was happy but I think she’s a little tired of this skating thing.  You see, my mom’s been balancing my skating plus my doctor’s appointments/ER visits/inpatient sessions/etc for at least the past 8 years or so.  I started getting really serious about skating when I was 10 or 11.  My favorite doctor (Dr. K of course!) and I met about a year later.  So basically I am my mom’s life and I think she’s getting tired of that.  I kind-of understand.  It must be really frustrating.  I mean, I get frustrated with my schedule 24/7.  (Like right now, how I haven’t written… yup, I’ve been super-busy.)  And I know the medical stuff can be ridiculously stressful, but seriously the worst thing I’ve had in a few years was that nosebleed in September.  I’ve got sectionals coming up and my mom is just kinda doing the sad smile thing.

At the same time, I’m really frustrated with my mom.  Becuase on top of this whole skating thing (she actually asked me “Do you really want to be an Olympic skater?  Because I just want you to realize the pros and cons that have just started for you.”  I was like, this has been my dream since Tara Lipinski), she’s been agitating me about college.  I’ve gotten in; what else am I supposed to do?  She’s worried I won’t be prepared and wants to start doing some extra stuff during whatever free time I have from skating and my job.  I’m in the special honors program, so why does she even care?  I’m sure I’ll be ready.  I’m just really annoyed.

So because she keeps trying to decide what my life is going to be, I just decided I’m going to stay in Maine and marry a lobsterman.  How cliche, but I’m gonna do it.  It’s from an Ingrid Michaelson song (whom I LOVE becuase she’s so fun, and because we look alike).  So I’m going to go (not) “Far Away” and say goodbye to skating.

Must be easier than chasing your dreams anyway!

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I Don’t Really Wanna Be the Queen

October 25, 2008 at 9:20 pm (College, My Lovely Life, Random, Skating)
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We’re 3 hours, 31 minutes away from Forks, in case you were wondering!

Did I say I was going to enjoy Skate America?  Well, I am enjoying SA actually, because I get to see all my skating girls who live in different parts of the country.  But maybe I forgot how intense competition gets!

I love it, on top of how stressed I am.  I really do love it.  I think I strive on being stressed.  That means I’m Type A, I think, and I’m prone to heart attacks and strokes and like everything that can go wrong in one’s later life.  (Not like I’m not at risk for anything right now, haha, that was supposed to be sarcastic.)  Anyway, I got the title from my favorite song, “Meet Virginia” by Train.  The girl in that song is so badass and I feel like I just want to be her, even though she obviously sucks at life.  The song is basically saying that all you need to be in life is badass, and if you totally fail, there are still about 50,000 things that are awesome about you.  She always contradicts herself and the guy things that’s cool.  And you don’t even have to want to be on top – you can be totally happy with your life just because you like it.  And maybe she’s being forced into being “the queen” by her parents or social pressure and she has to realize that’s not for her.  (Politics aren’t for everyone, haha.)  So there are some good messages in there, lol.

In other news, I pretty much finished my profile for OWT, so it should be on their website soon.  When it’s up there, I’ll post a link in my “Who Am I?” section.  (By the way, on the Train cd that has “Meet Virginia” on it, there’s a song called “I Am” and I just randomly thought of it, lol.)

Also relating to “Meet Virginia”, it kind-of goes in with how my parents thought I’d be a pro Irish Dancer instead of a figure skater.  I fell in love with skating and they couldn’t pull me away.  It’s a gooooood thing!  We did our short programs today and GUESS WHO’S IN FIRST PLACE?!?!?!?!?!?!

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I about fell over.  I was sitting, but I totally almost fell off the couch and Coach OH! had to catch me.  It was INSANE.  I guess I am skilled.  That sounds conceited, I know, but I have been out of skating for 6 months, so it surprised me, if you couldn’t tell.

So why did I title this entry “I Don’t Really Wanna Be the Queen”, if I’m totally elated about my win?  (Although that’s a technical win so I had it going for me because technique comes back to me before style, as witnessed in regionals, but STILL.  And I can’t be too hopeful of course, we still have LPs tomorrow!)  Because I’m stressed and I was flipping out about Vancouver.  Could I handle all the stress of the Olympics?  Even though I LOVE being stressed?  Because I also have to get my things ready for college, and pack and stuff and I found out I’m going to get there a week late because of nationals (in CLEVELAND, I think I mentioned that earlier… v. bitter).  I don’t know if I can commit.  Well, I mean I have to because skating is my life and my deferred admission would be totally wasted, not to mention I would hate myself, but I’m still kind-of doubting myself.  I mean, I’m missing a week right off the bat and I’m not even sick.  That’s a first for me, LOL!  (I was homeschooled so taking a week off for nationals or whatever before was NEVER a big deal.)

But I talked to Coach OH! about how stressed I was, and I felt much better.  I guess I just had to talk about it.

Then she thinks about her scene, pulls her hair back as she screams

 

I JUST REALLY WANNA BE THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

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When the stars have all gone out

October 15, 2008 at 4:21 pm (My Lovely Life, Skating)
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I hate to bitch about my medical issues so much on here, but this whole thing with Dr. K. not wanting me to skate is driving me NUTS, so I guess it applies.  I had to go back today to do more tests and her verdict was basically that I definitely should not be skating and that I need to get some things taken care of first.

DR K.!  This is the qualifying season!  If I don’t get to sectionals, there’s no Nationals, and if I don’t get to Nationals, there’s no Worlds, and if I don’t get to Worlds there are absolutely positively no Olympics.  So what did I do?  I said “Thank you for your time and opinion” and walked straight out of that stupid hospital.  Mom finally caught up to me and was beyond pissed.  I think I was pretty justified.  Maybe Dr. K. just doesn’t understand that skating is my LIFE.  I told my mom I had to get to practice.  Ugh, and I’m not even looking forward to Nationals, they are in Ohio, and I dunno, Ohio seems really boring.  I guess I can’t say anything, though, because I live in a ridiculously small town.  But still.  I kind-of hate Maine Medical Center at the moment and am not planning on going back there anytime soon.

To piss me off even more, a friend-who-shall-remain-nameless is suddenly in a bad mood 24/7.  I don’t think she’s mad at me, she’s just taking it out on me and it’s annoying!

Also, the OWT packet asked me if I would send a profile to a girl named Kira.  It’s kind-of like a Facebook profile but a little different.  It’s for their website.  I’m excited because it really means I’m part of the group now!  I’m filling it out this very moment.

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Basically My Entire Week

October 14, 2008 at 11:42 am (College, My Lovely Life, Skating)
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Let’s start off with lovely Dr. K. on Thursday.  I went in today for a checkup after my lovely nosebleed disaster, and she was like, oh, let’s do some more tests.  I said no, I feel fine, I don’t think you need to.  She insisted on doing the standard blood tests and everything, so I was really mad because I was supposed to be practicing for Skate America and Coach OH! was going to kill me.  We had to wait for the blood labs and then go back and by that time Dr. K. was supposed to be with another patient so we ended up waiting for an extra hour.

Dr. K. was like, I don’t think it’s a great idea to be skating right now.  I said that was stupid, this is a key qualifying season for me because Nationals and Worlds are going to determine the Olympic team and you have got to be kidding me.  So I’m skating but she’s not happy.

I am so pumped for Skate America though!  It’s next Thursday and Coach OH! and I are going crazy over it.  I kind-of flopped at regionals (for me, but not for not skating) and she really wants me to place in Skate America if I want to move up and get on the team for Vancouver.  Um, yeah!  Also, we would love for me to get 1st (and MAYBE 2nd) so I can go on to the Grand Prix in SOUTH KOREA!!!  How cool would that be?!  Plus it would be great for my records.  I love how they were complaining about me not being enthusiastic.  The minute things get competitive, the minute I start loving it.  Maybe I was just worn out from the venturing trip and all the drama that went on with it.  And I missed skating but was totally thrown back into it which was miserable.  But I love it now!

On 11/11 I am looking forward to Sectionals and I NEED a 1st place in that competition.

On the OWT front.  Saturday, I got a call from “Miss B.” who was like, “I heard you were skeptical at being accepted, congratulations, you are!  We can’t wait to meet you in person!”  So I guess I’m in!  Guess who is really flying on a private plane to Paris over Christmas!  Little old me!  Well, not old, haha.  I got my confirmation packet too.  I’m really excited about this but I hope the girls are nice… otherwise it wouldn’t really be worth it, although I guess it’s not really costing me anything.  I’m kind-of nervous!  Imagine, me nervous!

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And I go dancing…

October 1, 2008 at 4:18 pm (Friends, Skating)
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I’m sorry for not posting… but I was so dangerously tired.  Well, maybe not dangerously.  But seriously, I have been totally exhausted the past few days.

Let’s start with Coach OH!’s reaction to me being allowed to skate.  I told her the minute I got to the rink.  And instead of congratulating me for being able to continue, she flipped out in typical Coach OH! fashion.  “Cate, what does that mean that your platelet counts are low?  Because if that’s dangerous, you need to take care of yourself before you collapse on the ice.”  I sighed.  She always gets her medical stuff wrong, but it’s cute how she does.  I love medicine, so I don’t mind explaining.

“Coach OH!, it’s red blood cells that would make me faint.  If I was anemic or had a low red count.  Low platelets just meant I was not having a good clotting day.  Dr. K. said it was probably just a fluke – lots of people have extremely bloody nosebleeds.  It’s not anything to worry about.”

Coach didn’t seem convinced, but I didn’t really want to talk about it so I just went and twirled around and then she yelled at me for being unprofessional, because I wasn’t practicing my actual routine.  Well, no, I was just celebrating my ability to skate.  Apparently that didn’t fly because I missed the morning anyway.  She worked me SO hard!  And then she threw a curveball at me.  She wants me to start taking ballet, because it would help improve my flexibility.  Mom thought this was an amazing idea when I told her after I got home.  I really don’t.  I mean, ballet is pretty, but I really don’t have time.  They both thought it would also help me break up my routine and get a little more enthusiastic about skating practice.

Enthusiastic?  I about killed both of them.  I’m the one who was pushing to KEEP skating, and now Coach OH! and Mom both thought on their own accord that I need to be more enthusiastic about skating.  Like they weren’t telling me five minutes ago that I should stop skating.  And like I don’t want to go to the Olympics.  I am totally dedicated.  I really don’t get it.  But I guess I’m doing ballet anyway.  So guess when I have ballet?  8:30 – 10 pm, every Tuesday/Thursday, and from 9-12 on Saturday.  That means Tuesday and Thursday I’m going to be rushing straight from work to ballet.  And then on Saturday, when I’m supposed to be recovering from being totally sore all week, I’m doing ballet, which will make me even more sore and tired.

I guess I am a little excited though, mostly about the beauty of it.  I think learning ballet will add a lot to my choreography.  I can be a lot more lyrical and poised.  But I don’t think I need to get more flexible.  Who knows.  I’d fight it, but if it’ll help me get to Vancouver… than I really can’t complain.

The rental counter Monday was fun.  I had that mom come up who wanted the new-but-broken-in-skates, and she thanked me for the info on buying skates.  That was really cool.  Then Chrissy, the girl who runs the counter, invited us all to go rollerblading!  I’ve actually never been rollerblading.  It’ll be really fun.  I wonder if I’m any good?  The counter was fun at first on Tuesday – we were all talking and laughing at this one boy who was trying to learn how to skate backwards.  I know, I know, we shouldn’t be laughing… but seriously, it was hilarious.  Then the conversation changed and I got totally annoyed.  We were talking about what music we like to listen to, and Abby said her favorite band was Rascal Flatts, and she loved “Skin”.

I flipped out.  I hate that song, because it reminds me of all the bad stuff that comes with being an oncologist.  And I can’t take my patients to the prom or something, I can only try to help them get better.  I hope I encourage my patients.  But who knows.  And Abby knows totally nothing about leukemia or anything.  She was just like, it’s cute at the end.

Oh and, by the way, if my life wasn’t exhausting enough, I’m leaving in two hours for Massachusettes to go to regionals!  I’m doing my “Jupiter” routine for the long program.  (We developed it last spring because we knew I’d be out for awhile.)  Should be fun.

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Back from the Doctors

September 29, 2008 at 10:58 am (My Lovely Life)
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I will write an official post later, but as I know you are all dying to know the verdict on me skating…

Dr. K. told me it was up to me whether I wanted to keep skating or not!  I’m borderline-low, which means there could be some risk, but even she was like, um, well, skating isn’t exactly that dangerous… and she said she’d love to see me in the Olympics!

So of course I said I was going to keep skating… my mom, however, keeps trying to push me to stop.  I don’t understand – she’s the one who decided to homeschool me so I could get intense training.

I have to get some more tests (story of my LIFE) but Dr. K. says as long as I’m not falling over 24/7 if I want to skate, I can skate.

Yes!  And as I said, I’ll have more later after my lovely practice session with Coach OH! and then probably more tales of my favorite rental counter… ;)

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