Five more days!

But barely. It’ll be 4 in a few hours. This month has been so busy with Skate America and trying to pack and stuff that I really can’t believe it’s almost here. I’m starting to flip out. I’m so used to everyone at home… what if I hate college? Then again, Coach OH! is moving out to Omaha in Janurary after nationals so that will be cool. (She set me up with a local coach to practice with me until then. Neither of us are really happy about it, because it’s a HUGE deal to compete in Nationals obviously and it’d be better if I knew I worked well with the coach, but they’re friends and Coach OH! says she’s really good so it should work out. She said she’d come out but she has to pack with her family for the move. But she’ll be at Nationals with me.)
In three days I get on a plane to Paris. (!!!!!!!!!) Then I hang out with a host until Miss B., the teacher, can pick me up. We have this really early meeting set up on Christmas morning. Not sure if I’m too excited about the time, lol. Then we’re going to hang out and get some paperwork together and everything before I meet everyone. Sheesh! That’s a lot of waiting and hanging around… but hopefully it’s worth it. My mom’s talked to Miss B. a lot just to make sure things aren’t sketchy (worrywart!). I’m so psyched. I hope we get to tour the city, really that’s all I care about… oh, and making sure I find a rink ASAP!

Another music review

But before we get to that – TOMORROW is the Grand Prix! I’m actually in LA waiting for a plane right now. We flew out yesterday and overnighted at a hotel because we thought that’d be easier than flying all day – which we’re doing anyway, but whatever. I’m so tired but I definitely had to share this song I found yesterday. And get over how freaking excited I am about Grand Prix! Coach OH! is flipping out too and my mom is kind of in her own zone… she’s asleep. Haha. I think she’s excited for me, but I really sometimes don’t know. Well, of course she’s excited, but she hates flying, so maybe that’s why I’m confused about her mood. And she’s had that thing lately about me committing to skating, but I think she’s let up a little bit because I, you know, obviously got somewhere by making it into Grand Prix.
I’m actually really nervous, because it’s like Worlds, and I feel like the other American girls are so much better than me if only because I was out for so long, and I haven’t even seen the international competition. But Coach OH! (who is basically the nosiest person on earth thank you very much) just said that I can’t get my spirits down. She was reading over my shoulder, of course, because as I said, she has nothing better to do than to get into my business. Whatever, I love her, so it’s okay. See? She stopped reading before I typed that last part.
So anyway. After watching the “Winter Song” video like seriously twenty times, I was google imaging to figure out if Ingrid really has bangs. She doesn’t, by the way. But I found this clear pic of someone with her and Allie Moss, and I thought it was just a fan picture, but it was actually from someone who had opened for her! So I thought, okay, if she’s opened for Ingrid, she ought to be somewhat decent (the two guys on her “Be OK” tour were awesome, btw). I looked her up on iTunes and I am in love with Hailey Wojcik’s song “Dinosaur Bone”. I think you should experience it for yourself though.
Someday you’ll really dig me. (But of course you already do, right?!)

New Theme!

I thought I’d change it up a bit and go with a new theme. This one makes it look like I write more ;) I’m not totally sure if I like it yet, so I might still be going with a new one. I googled tons of WP themes and finally found one that I like, only to discover you have to pay to customize your own theme! Ugh! Well, whatever. I liked the green girl one, but honestly it made my posts look super short, and I was looking for something different. I’m also totally procrastinating some of the reading I have to get done for OWT. It’s a sorority-type thing, right? Or so I thought. We have some required reading, namely, The Confessions of St. Augustine, because most of the girls are reading that now and oh, wouldn’t it be fun if everyone did? No seriously. That’s what I was told. Please. I guess it’s not totally a sorority because it’s based on honors and there aren’t tons of people in one place so you only get together on the holidays… but still. Mom thinks it’s a good thing that we have required reading, of course! Oh, and I’m getting ready for (drumroll) Grand Prix! YES!
WP also changed their editing layout. I like it now that I’m used to it. I am sometimes not a huge fan of change, but it at least looks nicer now. Haha.
I am also counting down the days until I get to go to Paris! I’m so excited that it’s really not funny. My mom’s like, but you get to compete in South Korea… hell no, Paris is fifty times cooler! And I can actually tour (if we do, which I’m hoping and really assuming we will), not compete. I want to meet everyone. And I kinda want to get away from ME and all its boringness and doctorness. Yes, I just made that word up. I am excited to start college though not the work. It’s been nice having the past year off from schoolwork. Mom thinks this has totally ruined me forever. Whatever, I’m sure I’ll cope.
Ingrid came out with a lovely new video also starring Sara Bareilles. My two favorites. You can see the “Winter Song” vid here:

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20244199,00.html

SOOOOOOOO cute!!

I’m just a stranger, even to myself.

Sectionals today.  I got third.  I was so exhausted even before I performed, for no good reason.  I made sure I got 12 hours of sleep, not counting the drive yesterday.  Driving tires me out, basically because I sleep the whole time, but I did it yesterday plus slept at night, so I should’ve been okay, right?  I guess that came off in my routine.  I didn’t tell my mom that I was feeling so tired because I think she would’ve flipped.  Coach OH! noticed and said maybe she was overworking me at practice.  She made a good point.  I’m keeping the same schedule I did before I went Venturing, but I also haven’t been skating for a good 6 months so I should be sore and exhausted.  The best thing really is to stick with it, though.  At least I still qualified, so I’m not totally out of it, but seriously, after sweeping Skate America, I thought for sure I’d take sectionals as well.  Maybe I was too overconfident.  Maybe I won’t die alone…

I will live my life as a lobsterman’s wife on an island in the blue bay

I’ve obviously forgotten to update… and no lost Ethernet cord stories to excuse that.  I’ve just been really busy.  But before we get to that complaining, I have a little bragging right.

That’s right, 99% chance I’m going to Grand Prix.  I won Skate America!  Coach OH! just kept saying “I knew you could do it!  You knew you could do it!”  Mom was happy but I think she’s a little tired of this skating thing.  You see, my mom’s been balancing my skating plus my doctor’s appointments/ER visits/inpatient sessions/etc for at least the past 8 years or so.  I started getting really serious about skating when I was 10 or 11.  My favorite doctor (Dr. K of course!) and I met about a year later.  So basically I am my mom’s life and I think she’s getting tired of that.  I kind-of understand.  It must be really frustrating.  I mean, I get frustrated with my schedule 24/7.  (Like right now, how I haven’t written… yup, I’ve been super-busy.)  And I know the medical stuff can be ridiculously stressful, but seriously the worst thing I’ve had in a few years was that nosebleed in September.  I’ve got sectionals coming up and my mom is just kinda doing the sad smile thing.

At the same time, I’m really frustrated with my mom.  Becuase on top of this whole skating thing (she actually asked me “Do you really want to be an Olympic skater?  Because I just want you to realize the pros and cons that have just started for you.”  I was like, this has been my dream since Tara Lipinski), she’s been agitating me about college.  I’ve gotten in; what else am I supposed to do?  She’s worried I won’t be prepared and wants to start doing some extra stuff during whatever free time I have from skating and my job.  I’m in the special honors program, so why does she even care?  I’m sure I’ll be ready.  I’m just really annoyed.

So because she keeps trying to decide what my life is going to be, I just decided I’m going to stay in Maine and marry a lobsterman.  How cliche, but I’m gonna do it.  It’s from an Ingrid Michaelson song (whom I LOVE becuase she’s so fun, and because we look alike).  So I’m going to go (not) “Far Away” and say goodbye to skating.

Must be easier than chasing your dreams anyway!

When the stars have all gone out

I hate to bitch about my medical issues so much on here, but this whole thing with Dr. K. not wanting me to skate is driving me NUTS, so I guess it applies.  I had to go back today to do more tests and her verdict was basically that I definitely should not be skating and that I need to get some things taken care of first.

DR K.!  This is the qualifying season!  If I don’t get to sectionals, there’s no Nationals, and if I don’t get to Nationals, there’s no Worlds, and if I don’t get to Worlds there are absolutely positively no Olympics.  So what did I do?  I said “Thank you for your time and opinion” and walked straight out of that stupid hospital.  Mom finally caught up to me and was beyond pissed.  I think I was pretty justified.  Maybe Dr. K. just doesn’t understand that skating is my LIFE.  I told my mom I had to get to practice.  Ugh, and I’m not even looking forward to Nationals, they are in Ohio, and I dunno, Ohio seems really boring.  I guess I can’t say anything, though, because I live in a ridiculously small town.  But still.  I kind-of hate Maine Medical Center at the moment and am not planning on going back there anytime soon.

To piss me off even more, a friend-who-shall-remain-nameless is suddenly in a bad mood 24/7.  I don’t think she’s mad at me, she’s just taking it out on me and it’s annoying!

Also, the OWT packet asked me if I would send a profile to a girl named Kira.  It’s kind-of like a Facebook profile but a little different.  It’s for their website.  I’m excited because it really means I’m part of the group now!  I’m filling it out this very moment.

A Strange Phone Call

I’m taking a lunch break with my laptop and just had to blog about the phone call I got yesterday afternoon.  I was reading Picture Perfect by Jodi Picoult (really good so far) before I left for work and Mom told me I had a phone call.  Totally typical, right?  Except on the other end of the line wasn’t Rita (who, by the way, is going to a community college so that’s why we can hang out) or Tabby or one of the girls from the rental counter or even Coach OH! (though she never calls).  It was some girl from OWT.

OWT is this thing I found out about when I was starting high school.  It stands for Our World Today and it’s a special program at Shoreline Private Boarding School.  You work with people in all different grades and you go to a lot of conferences and foreign countries for “experiential learning”.  I wanted to apply but it was at the same time I was REALLY starting to get serious about skating; I was going to junior worlds that year.  And since to be in the middle/high school program you have to go to the boarding school, I didn’t apply.  (It’s also really ridiculously expensive but if you get in – which is really hard – they can almost guarantee you a scholarship because so many foreign dignitaries and big companies sponsor it as they send their kids there.)  Since it was a pilot program, their first graduates just left two years ago and there were only two of them.  Last year they had 3 but this year they had 6 or 7 and decided to expand the program more, since the grads are attached to the program.  They wanted to create somewhat of an alumni network and continue the program in some way at the grads’ colleges, so they developed OWT College Connections.  Basically, its a way of ensuring the girls get to come back to Shoreline for mentoring through their OWT teachers and for events (apparently they all go to France for Christmas at the royal palace… are you KIDDING me?!).  Also, since their core class is moving up in age and they are all really attached, and because the director eventually wants to step down and have someone else teach the class, this “class” (10th grade-junior in college) is set in stone and they will not be connected directly with any new entrants below the 10th grade level.  Also, because the class wants to continue to foster community, they opened up the College Connections program (which I see as sort-of a sorority) to any student in a college that an OWT grad is attending.  I think you can still apply if an OWT grad doesn’t go to your college but it’s harder to go in and they want to have an original OWT person there to keep the sorority feel.  The CC program is also supposed to work as job networking and a support program.  And you still get to go on trips with them.

I applied to the CC program since it was available for my college, Creighton.  (I picked Creighton because Coach OH! has family in Omaha and was planning to move there to start her own skate club.  I didn’t want a new coach and she said if I was going to college there she’d stay in ME with me until I went to college.  How nice of her!  Anyway, I also picked Crieghton because I really liked the atmosphere.)  To get into OWT you have to have some special trait, and you also have to be really smart.  It helps if you’re a princess or something, but there are girls from all walks of life in it (they have profiles of the members on their webpage).  The same applies for CC.

Well today I got a call from a girl named Samantha.  Literally, this is how the conversation went:

Me: Hello?
Samantha: Hi, I’m Samantha Parkington, and I’m the Class President of the Our World Today program at Shoreline Private Boarding School.  I’m calling to tell you that our executive team has reviewed your application and we have accepted you into the College Connections program.
Me: Wait… is this a joke?  You’re a student, right?  Shouldn’t the teacher be calling?
Samantha: Oh, Miss B. is at a political rally, don’t even get me started.  But I work with her for student government and she told me I could go ahead and call you and it would be more personal or something.
Me: Are you serious?
Samantha: (laughs) Yeah!  Um, I know it’s kind of strange for you to hear me call you to say you’re accepted, but our program works differently so it’s not strange to me.  I mean, two years ago two of my classmates sent a fake acceptance letter to a girl who wasn’t slated to be accepted yet and Miss B. didn’t kick her out or get mad.  She said it showed initiative and if they wanted her in the class so badly, she should stay.
Me: Wow.  That’s kind-of crazy.
Samantha: Well she was a little mad because it got her in trouble with the principal, but it’s a huge inside joke now.  But um, now that you’re in, I’m going to send you the acceptance materials, well MB will, which will include a letter of introduction to the other new student joining our class.  And, um, I’ll need to know if you’re going to show up to Paris this Christmas.  And do you need a scholarship to get there?
Me: Yeah, um, a scholarship would be helpful, do I have to decide now?
Samantha: Well, my parents can get you a ticket basically for free, so it’s cool.  We could even grab you on the way there.  Or you can ask Marie, because she has a private plane, and it’s her house anyway.
Me: Marie, as in Marie Elizabeth Westoff, the Crown Princess of France?
Samantha: Um, yeah.
Me: Wow.
Samantha: I probably should tell you right now that I’m a Princess of Monaco.
Me: Uh…
Samantha: Marie and I are childhood friends.
Me: That’s crazy.
Samantha: (laughs) Yeah I guess.  Don’t talk to her about being a princess though, she hates it.  But, do you think you can come?  It’s a huge tradition.
Me: I’d have to check with my coach…
Samantha: Oh, okay.  It’d be best if you come to Paris because otherwise you’ll only meet me, Harper and Kit-Kat.  We’re the ones at Creighton.  Well, I’m a high school senior but Miss B. came here and she brought me with her and I’m trying to enroll next semester too, and then Miss B.’s sister is teaching the rest of the high school girls back home.
Me: Well, of course I want to go!
Samantha: Cool, just let me know.  The whole thing with contacting me is complicated, because somebody could be wiretapping me right now.  So I can’t give you a direct number yet, but you’ll get one.  Sorry, I can’t really be more specific.  And you can always just email Miss B. off the website and she’ll know it’s you.
Me: Okay.  Do you think you could have her call me to confirm this?
Samantha: Yeah, no problem.  Bye!

I still think it’s too good to be true.  I mean, a princess?  Really?  Even though I know there are foreign dignitaries’ kids in the program, I didn’t think it meant princesses.  I mean seriously.  And a free plane ticket to Paris?  I want to believe it; I thought the program sounded awesome and I know these are all aspects of it.  But I haven’t gotten my acceptance packet or a call from “Miss B.” yet, so I am still being skeptical for my own protection.

And I go dancing…

I’m sorry for not posting… but I was so dangerously tired.  Well, maybe not dangerously.  But seriously, I have been totally exhausted the past few days.

Let’s start with Coach OH!’s reaction to me being allowed to skate.  I told her the minute I got to the rink.  And instead of congratulating me for being able to continue, she flipped out in typical Coach OH! fashion.  “Cate, what does that mean that your platelet counts are low?  Because if that’s dangerous, you need to take care of yourself before you collapse on the ice.”  I sighed.  She always gets her medical stuff wrong, but it’s cute how she does.  I love medicine, so I don’t mind explaining.

“Coach OH!, it’s red blood cells that would make me faint.  If I was anemic or had a low red count.  Low platelets just meant I was not having a good clotting day.  Dr. K. said it was probably just a fluke – lots of people have extremely bloody nosebleeds.  It’s not anything to worry about.”

Coach didn’t seem convinced, but I didn’t really want to talk about it so I just went and twirled around and then she yelled at me for being unprofessional, because I wasn’t practicing my actual routine.  Well, no, I was just celebrating my ability to skate.  Apparently that didn’t fly because I missed the morning anyway.  She worked me SO hard!  And then she threw a curveball at me.  She wants me to start taking ballet, because it would help improve my flexibility.  Mom thought this was an amazing idea when I told her after I got home.  I really don’t.  I mean, ballet is pretty, but I really don’t have time.  They both thought it would also help me break up my routine and get a little more enthusiastic about skating practice.

Enthusiastic?  I about killed both of them.  I’m the one who was pushing to KEEP skating, and now Coach OH! and Mom both thought on their own accord that I need to be more enthusiastic about skating.  Like they weren’t telling me five minutes ago that I should stop skating.  And like I don’t want to go to the Olympics.  I am totally dedicated.  I really don’t get it.  But I guess I’m doing ballet anyway.  So guess when I have ballet?  8:30 – 10 pm, every Tuesday/Thursday, and from 9-12 on Saturday.  That means Tuesday and Thursday I’m going to be rushing straight from work to ballet.  And then on Saturday, when I’m supposed to be recovering from being totally sore all week, I’m doing ballet, which will make me even more sore and tired.

I guess I am a little excited though, mostly about the beauty of it.  I think learning ballet will add a lot to my choreography.  I can be a lot more lyrical and poised.  But I don’t think I need to get more flexible.  Who knows.  I’d fight it, but if it’ll help me get to Vancouver… than I really can’t complain.

The rental counter Monday was fun.  I had that mom come up who wanted the new-but-broken-in-skates, and she thanked me for the info on buying skates.  That was really cool.  Then Chrissy, the girl who runs the counter, invited us all to go rollerblading!  I’ve actually never been rollerblading.  It’ll be really fun.  I wonder if I’m any good?  The counter was fun at first on Tuesday – we were all talking and laughing at this one boy who was trying to learn how to skate backwards.  I know, I know, we shouldn’t be laughing… but seriously, it was hilarious.  Then the conversation changed and I got totally annoyed.  We were talking about what music we like to listen to, and Abby said her favorite band was Rascal Flatts, and she loved “Skin”.

I flipped out.  I hate that song, because it reminds me of all the bad stuff that comes with being an oncologist.  And I can’t take my patients to the prom or something, I can only try to help them get better.  I hope I encourage my patients.  But who knows.  And Abby knows totally nothing about leukemia or anything.  She was just like, it’s cute at the end.

Oh and, by the way, if my life wasn’t exhausting enough, I’m leaving in two hours for Massachusettes to go to regionals!  I’m doing my “Jupiter” routine for the long program.  (We developed it last spring because we knew I’d be out for awhile.)  Should be fun.

Back from the Doctors

I will write an official post later, but as I know you are all dying to know the verdict on me skating…

Dr. K. told me it was up to me whether I wanted to keep skating or not!  I’m borderline-low, which means there could be some risk, but even she was like, um, well, skating isn’t exactly that dangerous… and she said she’d love to see me in the Olympics!

So of course I said I was going to keep skating… my mom, however, keeps trying to push me to stop.  I don’t understand – she’s the one who decided to homeschool me so I could get intense training.

I have to get some more tests (story of my LIFE) but Dr. K. says as long as I’m not falling over 24/7 if I want to skate, I can skate.

Yes!  And as I said, I’ll have more later after my lovely practice session with Coach OH! and then probably more tales of my favorite rental counter… ;)

My Brilliant Mother

I officially hate my mother.  I was relaxing on the couch today and she came over with a glass of water and sat down next to me.

“Catie…” she began gently.

“My name is Cate!” I said stubbornly (perhaps a bit too stubbornly, but I think the ‘ie’ is so childish… ‘Cate’ sounds much more grown up.  Neither of my parents have caught on in the 6 or so years I’ve been asking them to call me ‘Cate’.  They ALWAYS slip up).

“Cate, then,” Mom smiled.  “I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but after that episode yesterday I don’t think you’ll be going to the Olympics.”

I put the water down on the endtable and pulled my head under my afghan.  “I’m not talking to you.”

“Well, Cate, you took that break to go sailing, which put you behind on your training, and you know what your doctor is going to say…”

“I have the right to refuse treatment,” I protested from under the afghan.

“Seriously, Cate, she’s probably going to tell you it’s not safe to be skating until your levels get back up.  And darling, if that’s all that happens, it’ll be good.  Your counts will rise and you’ll be back on the ice, but I can’t guarantee how long that’s going to take or if she’s going to say something else.”

I peeked out from under the afghan.  “You don’t understand…” I started.  I was embarassed that I started crying.  “How much these Olympics mean to me.  I don’t care if he says I’m going to die in sixth months.  I am NOT, I repeat NOT, quitting skating.”

“Well, Cate, I don’t think your platelet counts are low enough for you to get a death sentence.”  Mom patted my shoulder.  “But there’s always another Olympics in four years, so if she tells you no, I think you’re going to have to listen.”

I hid back under the afghan.  I felt the couch rise when she got up.  I resolved never to listen to my doctor.

Did I mention I will never quit skating?

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